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Mon 24 Apr 2017
Things Start to Go Wrong
Written by Panrit "Gor" Daoruang   
Friday, 30 June 2000 04:48
Thursday 29th June 2000:

She came over to me in the morning when I got to school. She asked me that can she take a trip to another province with the school and her friends. I said to her yes, if you like and I asked her when is that? She said this weekend. I felt very sad because I have a scrabble competition this weekend and I want her to go to do it as well but I didn't tell her. I can't tell her now because she really wants to go to take a trip with her friends.

I didn't have my lunch because I was practicing my scrabble with my friend "Tum", it's his first time to be my partner for scrabble, I usually play with "Ton" but this time Tum asked me to do it with him. He wants to play with me.

I didn't go back home with her, she went with her friends. So I went straight to Sriwittayapaknam school to work on my web sites. I am planning to send an E-mail to her to wish her good luck for her trip and let her read it tomorrow with me in the internet cafe.

Friday 30th June 2000:

We had an argument. She said she really wanted to go tomorrow and she's really happy that she can go with her friends. She wished me good luck for the competition tomorrow. I asked her how can you know that I am going to the scrabble competition tomorrow. She said my friend told her. Then I asked her do you want to go with me? She said "NO, it's BORING" she wants to go with her friends more than with me and she said as well "MORE FUN to go with friends". I was really angry and shouted at her to go. That's why she was angry with me and we had an argument.

Lunch time, I wrote a note and asked my friend to give it to her. I wrote to her to tell about the E-mail, I told her to go and check mail at her house.

I went back home alone. I was very sad, all my plan was broken down and she didn't want to talk to me or even see my face. I rang her and tried to say I am sorry but she didn't listen, she didn't forgive me. She said she wanted to go to bed as she had to wake up early tomorrow. Then she put the telephone down before I said "sorry".

Saturday 1st July 2000:

I woke up like 6.30 a.m. and got ready for the competition today. I took a bath and got dressed, then I went straight to Sriwittayapaknam school to meet my friends there. We left there like 8.30 a.m. and we got at the competition venue at like 9.30 a.m. Then we registered for the competition and waited for the first game to start. I played with Tum, he's really good. He helps me do the bingo lots of times.

I thought about her a lot, much as I can't say. I am worried about her very much. It's good that Tum was there to help me play scrabble. If he was not there I wouldn't be up to play it for sure.

During one of the breaks between games, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. Richard caught me and he was angry with me. He said he doesn't want me to smoke as it is a bad habit and it is easy to become addicted. I said I was only smoking one cigarette because I had an argument with my girlfriend. I didn't tell him it makes me feel good whenever I am sad.

Today, we played five games. Phong and Ton won 3 games but Tum and me won 4 games. I tried to ring her at her house after I finished my competitions but no-one answered the phone. That means she hasn't come back home yet. I am worried very much because it's late already (about 7.00 p.m. I rang her). Tum and me went back to school and played a couple of games with Phong and Ton. About 8.30 p.m. I rang her friend which is Tum's girlfriend and asked her how long have you come back home. She said about half and hour ago. Then I said thank you to her and went back home. I rang her when I got back home, her sister answered it and said she hasn't got back yet. I said thank you very much and put the phone down. After that, I went out with my dad's motorbike. I drove it around and looked for her everywhere until 11.00 p.m. I went back home and tried to go to bed but I couldn't. I just worried about her so I cried and went straight to sleep.

Sunday 2nd July 2000:

My mum asked me about last night. Why did I cry? So I said I had a very bad night dream.

I have got a problem now because I got a new zit this morning and it is right down by my nose.

I went to do a competition at about 9.00 a.m. I was very very sleepy, I think I didn't have enough sleep last night. Today we had four games to play, Phong & Ton won 1 game and Tum and me won 2 games. I asked Tum's girlfriend to ring my girlfriend and ask her about yesterday. She told Tum's girlfriend that really she came back home already but she didn't want to talk to me. At the time I know that I was really sad I didn't know what to do. My friends are trying to make me happy by saying never mind or some things like that to make me feel better. It is my very good luck to be friends with them, I really thank them a lot. So I stopped being angry with her and forgave her about last night.

It's my birthday tomorrow, I don't know will my girlfriend remember it or not. I hope she will forgive me for that argument. I can't wait for tomorrow. I think it will be my happiest day for sure! (-;

Monday 3rd July 2000:

I went to school very early like 6.45 a.m. I was really happy because this day I have already turned 15 years old and starting to be an adult. I don't have to write my name as dek chai Nattawud (boy child Nattawud) anymore which makes me happy. Also, I will get a present from my girlfriend, which I have waited for it. I got lots of presents from my friends but I haven't got it from my girlfriend yet.

Lunch time, my friend came up to me in my classroom with a box of present. He told me my girlfriend asked him to bring it to me and say "Happy Birthday". I am feeling something not very good is happening. I tried to find her around the school but I can't find her. I didn't meet her after school as well, I met her friends and asked them where is she? They said she went back home already. You know I felt very very bad and very very sad as well so I went back home. When I had my first step in the house, my tears were coming out and I started to cry. I didn't think it will be this bad for my birthday. She didn't forgive me and didn't even say "Happy Birthday" to me by herself.

I rang my friends which are older than me, I asked them to go out and have some drink. They said why, then I said it's my birthday, I want to have a small party with them. I went to buy some beer to drink with them. I drank with them at the market which is near their shop. I had some beer with them then I saw some of my older friends smoked so I asked them for it, they didn't let me do it so I went to buy it and started to smoke. One of my older friend said "I thought you said you will never start to smoke again" then I said "I want to do it". They tried to stop me but I didn't listen to them. I had all the pack. After that, at about 8.45 p.m. I went to school to meet Richard and Phong. They bought me some cake and gave me some presents. I started to cry because I thought this day will be my worse birthday but it's not, I still have friends.

I was really upset today because I didn't even hear my girlfriend said "Happy Birthday" to me. So I started to smoke again and this time it's more than last time. But I am still lucky to have good friends helping me. Richard said do not worry about it so much, don't throw everything away that I have worked so hard for. I understood all he said but I just couldn't do it so I can't stop drinking and smoking.


Tuesday 4th July 2000:

I tried to look for her during the day, at last I found her at the lunch time in the cafeteria with her friends. I told her I had something to talk to her, she said she's also has something to talk to me. We went to my classroom and start to talk about it. I started to talk to her try to say sorry, please forgive me but she said no then she said she can't forgive me because she wanted to break up with me. Then she said do you understand, I just kept quiet then she said "we have finished now, I care about another boy, good bye" and she went. I can't do anything she shocked me. I didn't have lunch because I just sat down in the classroom and thought about it.

I went to Srinai school after my school had finished. I worked as usual. I tried to forget everything by working hard.

Wednesday 5th July 2000:

I went to school in the early morning and walked around looking for that guy that my girlfriend said she cared about. I found him and asked him to go to my classroom. He said no then I said I wanted to talk to him I wouldn't do anything, I promised. He still didn't believe me, so I got angry and nearly punched him there by the playground but my friends came and stopped me at the right time. They told that guy to follow me up to my classroom and they said don't make Gor angry, they know what am I like when I am angry. I told him again I wouldn't hit him I just wanted to talk. Then he and my friends followed me up to my classroom. I sat down and talked to him like a man, no fighting.

I asked him what do you think about my girlfriend? Do you like her? He said he only thinks that my girlfriend is one of his friends. I said do you know that she likes you? And do you have someone you like? He said no he didn't know that my girlfriend likes him and he said he didn't like anyone. I asked him is that the truth? He said yes. I asked him again do you lie to me? He said no. Then I said ok, I trust you. I told him you can go now, thanks for coming with me and sorry that I nearly punched you. After he went, I got hit from my friends and they asked me do I love Yui. I said "Yes, of course" then they said if I really love her, I should trust her then. They walked away and let me think about what they said. I thought about it until I understood it. I went to say thanks to them. I wanted to get back with her.

When Richard took me back home, I just thought about the big three headed elephant called "Erawan Elephant" which is not far from my house. I knew the story from the newspaper that there was one woman went on the bus pass this elephant and she wished to win the lottery and the wish came to her. That's why I went there for a wish. I wished to come back together with my girlfriend who has already broken up with me. I promised that if the wish came true, then I would give the elephant bananas and sugar cane.

Thursday 6th July 2000:

I still haven't talk to her. I think she was trying to go away from me, she won't forgive me.

I can't learn, I didn't understand anything I learned today. I was just scared to lose her, scared that she will hate me, never talk to me again. I just didn't know what to do.

I went to the market to meet my older friends. We had some drink and I told them all the story. Some of them said forget her and move on but some said if I really love her try to take her back. At that moment I still didn't know what to do, only one thing I know is I am trying to forget those problems. I asked them for a cigarette, they didn't give it to me again then I said I'll go and buy it. They just only gave me one and said you must have only one if you try to have more than that we'll do everything to stop you. I know what will happen if I try to have more than one, I knew what they will do so I just have only one. One of them said that why don't I fight with the problems why I tried to push it away. And he asked me "Are you a man? Man doesn't give up easily" That's the word which made me think, it hurt me a lot by saying that but I know he wanted me to fight with those problems because I am a man, a 100% man must fight, must not give up easily. After that they said if I want any help they will be there helping me. They are very good friends like Richard. Someone might think they are bad because they smoke and drink but really they're not, they just do what they want to do, same as me.

Friday 7th July 2000:

I waited for her after school by the gate in front of the school. She came along with the guy who is in her class. I asked her why do you have to try to hide from me? And why do you come with that guy? She said she liked him but she didn't love him, she loved me. We went to talk at the internet cafe and played some games at the same time. She said she's really happy that last Saturday she took a trip to another province with the school because that guy went too. She said she was really happy but she didn't know that day I was very sad and cried but she was having fun and laughing with her friends and that guy. I think she knew I was very angry so she said she only likes him, not the same as she loves me, that's was she said. So I just pretended to forget everything as I wanted to get back with her. When we finished talking, we went to pay money. I wanted to pay but she said never mind she will pay for it. When she was opening her purse I didn't see any of my photos in her wallet but I saw her picture with that guy so now I know.

I went to buy a pack of cigarettes and tried to smoke it but at that moment I just thought about Richard and those friends so I threw those cigarettes away. I just thought that wish I asked at the Erawan Elephant didn't work.

Saturday 8th July 2000:

I had a small late party for my birthday. I told only my best friends. I went to learn special lessons at school and played football after special lessons finished. I tried to do everything to make me happy and don't have to think about those problems. My friends paged me and said that he was at my house waiting for me already so some of my friends and me went back to my house. I was very surprised that she's there waiting for me in front of the gate. I asked her that how do you know I had a party today. She said she heard my friends talk about this. I left my friends at home, Yui and me went out to talk outside the house by the gate. I tried to clear everything but she just kept quiet. I thought that for sure now, she will never come to me. When I tried to walk into my house, she called me out and said that she has been thinking about it every day that she can't stay without me, she missed me and wanted to be back to be my girlfriend again. I was really happy and asked her really, she said yes 100% true. Now I believe that the wish came true! Tomorrow I will go to give bananas and sugar cane to the elephant.