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Sun 30 Apr 2017
I am a Father!
Friday, 11 July 2003 23:00

I had been walking back and forth in front of the operating theatre so many times. I was so nervous and so worried, but also excited about the baby. I really didn't know what to do if something went wrong. Really I was worried more about Tai than the baby because she was very weak and so there was a higher chance for her to die. But it was possible that they both might have bad luck and couldn't make it. I have to admit that I was really scared about it; it was the last thing I wanted to happen right then.

Because I couldn't really keep still I kept bumping into people coming through the double doors. I felt annoyed that some of the nurses behind the counter told me to sit down and be quiet. They also told me to stop taking pictures every time someone opened the door. But you know what, I didn't care about that at all!

After I had been thinking and worrying for quite a long time, I finally heard a baby crying. I jumped up and down with excitement. I was pretty sure that the owner of that sound was my baby. I didn't know for sure but at least it made me feel so much better. All of the worried feelings I had were gone. What was left was only excitement.

A few minutes later, I heard footsteps and then the door opened. There was a nurse coming through the door. She was holding a baby wrapped in green cloth. I walked up to her without knowing for sure that the baby was mine. The nurse saw me and she said "This is the daughter of Miss Sarita, are you the father?"

I didn't listen to the whole sentence. As soon as I heard "Miss Sarita", I jumped with joy! I felt so relieved and was really happy. I wanted to shout aloud but I couldn't so I said to myself, "This is my baby, I have got a daughter!" Then I said to the nurse, "Yes, yes, I am the father of this baby. She is my daughter!!!!" She gave me a smile and said, "Follow me to the nursery."

The first time I saw my daughter's face was when the nurse and I were standing by the door outside the nursery. She was telling me not to go inside and not to touch the baby because it wasn't hygienic. I quickly replied to her saying that I understood. But really, I wasn't listening; I just wanted her to unwrap my daughter. I wanted to see and check that everything was fine. I admit that I sometimes smoked near Tai when she was pregnant so I was a bit scared.

The nurse slid the door open and went in to get a cot for my daughter. She pushed the cot towards the door and put my daughter down. I was so excited; I put my hands together and prayed inside my mind while the nurse was starting to unwrap the cloth. I stopped praying and bent down to take a closer look. My hands were shaking and my heart was pumping very hard. I think I could call it the most exciting moment in my life. I was really happy.

As soon as the cloth was unwrapped, the baby suddenly cried very loudly. I leaned closer. My eyes were filled full with tears while I said "Shhh don't cry OK? Please don't cry my little daughter". For nearly two minutes I stood there by the cot looking at her. I don't know why but I felt that I was there much longer. Maybe it was because I was memorizing every little part of her body. It was like I was there alone with my daughter and the world around me had stopped moving.

Then I suddenly remembered that Tai hadn't come out yet. I quickly thanked the nurse and went back outside to wait for Tai.

I was back in front of the operating theatre again. I couldn’t keep still and kept walking like before. I was still worried about Tai. I have seen in the movies and read in the newspaper about mothers who died after giving birth. It’s possible that she wouldn’t make it. She is so much weaker than other pregnant women plus she is a bit too young for this kind of thing.

About twenty minutes passed. I tried to calm myself down by taking some long breaths and drinking some water. But that didn’t help much as I now wanted to go to the toilet! But, I didn’t dare go because I might miss her coming out. So, I had to jump up and down as I walked back and forth.

Finally, the double-doors opened and Tai’s doctor came out. I quickly walked up to him and paid him respect. Before I could ask him any questions he smiled and said to me “Everything is fine, she is OK. There is nothing to worry about, the nurses will bring her out soon.” I nodded and gave him a wai. He smiled and said “No problem” and then he excused himself and left.

After listening to the doctor, I was no longer worried about Tai. I came back and stood still in front of the door. I really wanted to see Tai come out as fast as I could. I don’t know why. Maybe I just missed her and wanted to be there with her!

Less than ten minutes later, the double-doors opened again. It was Tai! I ran towards her. She was sleeping! I saw a tear in the corner of her eye. She must have been crying because of the pain. Poor Tai, she doesn’t cry very easily like other girls. I felt very upset. I really wanted to be with her but I couldn’t. I touched her on the forehead and stroked her hair a couple of times.

The nurses took Tai inside the recovery room and closed the door behind them. The room was only a few meters away from the nursery. I stood outside trying to look in but I couldn’t because the door was completely closed. I couldn’t slide it open myself as you were only allowed to visit the patients in this room during the evening.

I thought about doing something for Tai to make up for not being there with her during the operation, even though it wasn’t my fault. I quickly ran up to the room to get some money and my motorbike keys. Then I came down to the nursery to have another look at my daughter before I went outside. She was now in a cot near the window so that I could see her better. I was pretty sure that she was sleeping because she didn’t move much and didn’t cry!

I would have liked to stand there and look through the glass all day. But before I could do that I had to go out to buy Tai some white roses and freshen myself up. I wanted to be back in time to be the first one who visited her and the first one she saw when she woke up. I would be sitting there by her bed with the white roses!

I was really in a good mood, nothing could destroy my happiness. I felt relieved and very happy that after all the problems, everything was all right. Nothing had gone wrong.

I am very proud that I have become a father for real now. I know lots of things will change as I have started a new chapter in my life. I have to grow up even faster than before and I can’t play around with my friends like I sometimes still do. I am quite ready for that. I will do everything in my power to give my baby everything she needs in life and I promise I will be a superb parent! Let’s see …