You are here > Home - Gor's World Column Marriage is Life-Changing
Thu 23 Mar 2017
Marriage is Life-Changing
Written by Gor   
Tuesday, 06 January 2004 00:00

It’s has now been over a month since my girlfriend and I got married. Most things are back to normal except for one thing that is never going to be the same again. You might be wondering what is different from before? Or, maybe like one of my friends, you are asking, “Do you regret getting married to each other?” Let’s go and find out the answers… .

The aim of the wedding was for me to show some respect to Tai’s parents. To show them that I am being responsible for what I did. It was really my grandmother’s idea for us to get married. She thought that it was something I should do after ruining their daughter’s life. Tell you the truth, before my grandmother talked to me, I personally thought that it’s not necessary to have the wedding. But later, I realised that I should at least try and follow Thai tradition.

However, I was so blinded by “doing the right thing” that I really didn’t think anything much about the consequences of getting married. I was made to think that after the wedding, nothing was going to change. The only thing I would gain would be some respect and love from my parents-in-law! There wasn’t any clue to make us realise that getting married is a life-changing event.

For me, getting married with someone I really love is not a problem at all. It’s only the unexpected consequence that is really freaking me out. It’s like taking a very big step towards something I haven’t had a chance to prepare for. I am not sure that Tai realises what is coming but I am kind of hoping that she knows about it. After all, we are walking across the bridge to the adult’s side together.

Since the wedding, I have started to dress and act properly like other teachers even though I am not one yet. I just thought that it doesn’t matter that I am not a teacher, the point is I am working in a school so I’d better dress smartly. I also started to come to work at 8 o’clock and really worked hard during the day. Really this was what I was supposed to do a long time ago but I hadn’t. I decided I would show everyone that I have grown up.

While I started to do some things differently, Tai wasn’t doing anything at all. She said to me that if she could go back in time, she would go back to being a normal teenager again. She’s still doing the same things she always does: sleeping, eating and spending money. A lot of money! I don’t think she realises yet that no one is going to help us any more because everyone sees us as adults.

I do understand why she is having trouble leaving her teenage fun behind and moving on. I had the same kind of problem a few years ago when I was trying to quit drugs. But with lots of help from my mentor I finally understood and figured out what to do. Sitting and whining about something that had gone wrong was not helping to make things better. So, I learned to deal with it by solving the problems myself.

All teenagers think they have many problems. Some might also say that it’s easier to be adults. Here and now, I want to tell you that it’s not true at all. Teenagers have much less responsibility than adults. Being an adult can be scary because consequences are more serious. Trust me. I am a teenager and also an adult. I kind of know and understand both sides.

That’s why I don’t really blame Tai much. These kinds of things always take time. Anyway, it’s my job as her husband to bring her over to the “adult’s world”. I know it is going to be difficult, but if I want our marriage to succeed I need to work hard. Much harder than anything I have ever done before!