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Thu 27 Apr 2017
Life without Grace
Written by Gor   
Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:00

After a long working day, I used to always go straight back to Tai’s house. We usually went out to a video rental shop near the house and rented a movie. Then we came back and cooked ourselves dinner before taking a shower. After that we ate dinner together in front of the television. As soon as the movie had finished, we went straight up to bed.

Really, those are the kind of things I usually did every day after I got back home. It was quite a pleasure for me but everything had to change when Tai started night school. Since then my life at home is starting to be very boring. She goes to school every evening from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. and always comes back home late at about 9.45 p.m. I only see her briefly at night and before I go to work in the morning.

There is hardly ever a smile on my face these days. But one night, as I was walking pass the small room by the stairs, something I saw made me stop. I was really excited when I asked Tai’s brother, Au, about a bottle of milk near the computer. He said it belonged to my daughter, Grace. He said she just went upstairs with his mum a few minutes ago.

As soon as I heard that, I quickly ran up to his mum’s bedroom. I stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at her bedroom door. It was closed. I walked quietly to the door and put my left ear against it. I was trying to hear what they were doing inside but I couldn’t, as the TV was turned up quite loud.

I finally gave up after a few minutes and came back down to my room. I tried to sit down and wait for Tai to come back but I couldn’t. I kept walking around the room and looking at my watch. I was also thinking about going upstairs and knocking on the door. After a short while I decided to go up but by the time I was in front of the door, I got too scared to do it. My daughter was on the other side of the door and I really wanted to meet her but I couldn’t. I was really upset about it.

I then went downstairs to wait for Tai in front of the house. I wished that I could go back in time and change things. If I could, I would do my best to keep a good relationship with Tai’s mum. She started to hate me since the day she found out about us doing drugs. Tai told me from that time, her mum would often bring up the subject about me, telling Tai to dump me.

After about one hour of waiting, Tai finally came back. I quickly ran to her and told her about our lovely daughter. I then rushed her to go upstairs and bring Grace down to me. But it was too late. Grace was already sleeping. I felt very sad and upset. Tai said she watched Grace sleeping for a while before kissing her good night. At least Tai got to see Grace and give her a good night kiss. What about me? I didn’t even have a chance to see my own daughter.

I was really angry with myself but there was nothing I could do about it. This is the consequence of my past actions. That night I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about my little daughter. I wondered how she was and how much she had grown up. The last time I had seen her was over a month ago when my parents came to take her away from me. I really miss her and I am ready to do anything to get her back to stay with me again. And this time, I will never ever let anyone take her away from me. They will have to kill me and walk over my dead body to do that.